The Art and Science of Valuing Others

August 7, 2023

Consider This: The Most Transformational Idea I Learned in the Past Five Years is this: It’s far easier to add value to someone else when you know what they value. It’s in the application of that idea that my evolution truly began. Why is that important? Because the lessons I’ve learned and the skills and tools I’ve employed to improve my results in communicating with and leading people will work for you, too, in business, on the job and in your personal relationships. What would being more effective, even becoming an ultra-high performer in the areas of communications and leadership mean to you?


My transformation began when I read a book by John C. Maxwell entitled “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect”. That book illuminated, among other things, why my first marriage failed and why I sometimes found it difficult to communicate with my own children or to attract people to work with me in business. If you suffer from any of those issues I would suggest possibly beginning with that book, too! I became a trainer and coach of the John Maxwell Leadership Team largely as a result of understanding how that book could transform the results for people around the world.

 

The second phase came about a year later when I was introduced to the B.A.N.K.

The Methodology, the only methodology scientifically validated to predict another person’s “buy-in” behavior in less than 90 seconds. Because it is based on the other person’s values, what is important to them, it quickly reveals the first set of clues to what motivates that person to make decisions based on the various roles of their lives. Once you understand what is important to the other person, whether it be a relative, a friend, a prospect or a client, it’s now possible to have a much more effective conversation that creates a win-win-win situation. This became one leg of the foundation of my M.I.N.D. 


Blueprint, which I will describe in another post very soon. In business and in my personal relationships I now seek to understand the other person’s view of the world before I offer my own ideas. This tool is one that is invaluable in helping me to “speak the other person’s language”, which has elevated my ability to create, build and sustain authentic relationships beyond a level I could have imagined.


Here’s how to crack your own code in 90 seconds or less, because effective communications and leadership begins with understanding yourself, recognizing and acknowledging your own set of values. When you fill in your information after doing the quick exercise (your info is not shared or sold), you will receive a complimentary report about yourself that most people find to be quite insightful. http://crackmycode.com/engage


Want to learn more? Once you have taken the opportunity to read your report, I invite you to set a 20 minute appointment for us to share some additional insights and explore ways I can support you. Click on the “Calendar an Appointment” button on my smart digital business card at: https://martycard.me

The Pistachio Effect

October 25, 2024
Recently, I was in an event with about 6,000 other people, and the keynote speaker was Jack Canfield. Jack taught us many things from his best-selling book “The Success Principles”. One of the concepts that really stood out was a formula he shared which guided how to take personal responsibility, which was E, an event, plus R, responsibility equals O, which is outcome. So E plus R equals O. And what does that mean? It is not an event that happens to us that really makes a difference, It's how we respond to it. And by taking personal responsibility for the Response, we have control of the Outcome and you can improve it. On the flight home I was considering Jack’s formula. Almost every weekday I begin my day by journaling the people to whom I am grateful and the things I grateful for. I do this in a study group with a friend. One of the things we journal about in that study group is sending positive vibes even to somebody with whom I might have a disagreement. Well, I thought about a person who's very dear in my life, which is my wife. Occasionally, my day will be going along just great and seemingly out of nowhere she will throw a criticism at me for something. An example is on the golf course and we are playing together when she says, “Tuck in your shirt, your tummy is showing” because my shirt came out while I was swinging, or maybe I loaded the dishwasher incorrectly, or something of that nature. Another mentor of mine, whose name is Robert Dilts, in his book, “Coach to Awakener”, said that when somebody's criticizing you, there is almost always a positive piece to that because unless the person is evil, they are coming from a place of being helpful. If you view the Event through that frame and you are grateful for the help then okay, what is that criticism all about? I thought about it on the plane ride home from the event, in terms of taking personal responsibility, and I named it the Pistachio effect. Why the Pistachio Effect? Well, when you look at a pistachio, you wouldn't eat the outside of it. If you bit on it, the taste and texture would be terrible. But, when you open it up, there's the sweet fruit inside. Visualize the shell of the pistachio as the criticism, the sharp object on the outside. And if you just bit on it, it would be pretty bitter and be harsh on your mouth metaphorically and your psyche for real. Yet, if you open it up and taste the sweet fruit (the positive message) inside, well, there you go. So the principle basically is remembering when we are being criticized to pause a second or two, open the nut and recognize the positive message inside.
A man with a beard is standing in front of a building with his arms crossed and smiling.

Genesis

August 23, 2024
I don’t use the word “Every” lightly because it tends to be an exaggeration in many cases. Having said that, I believe it’s accurate to offer that literally every action has a starting point as an idea.

True Energy of Sales

October 24, 2024
Science was not my favorite subject in elementary school because it often involved blood. I hate the sight of blood, particularly mine. Other than that I’m told I would have made a great doctor NoBody lol. But the one science experiment I always loved was when Mr. Dellelis would make a volcano erupt. Fireworks! I don’t light them myself but I love to watch them. Always have! The energy, the creativity, the timing, the beauty! Art only works when science does. Sales is also an art only when we understand the science. Yesterday I had one of those moments when energy was abundant and created by the chemical process of human connection. With my training partner, Valerie Johnson, we taught three awesome students the secrets, the science, and the system that will increase their ability to persuade and increase their sales by up to 300% in less time. The emphasis of yesterday’s training was on business and particularly sales situations. There is true energy when people connect in a common language. As our students began to understand and demonstrate the first level of fluency in the global B.A.N.K. language of BUY-Ology, the energy in the Zoom room was built geometrically. Next week we build on that facility with the power of B.A.N.K. to improve personal relationships. With their higher level of emotional intelligence, I am excited to hear how their results translate in Harvest Time!