Don’t Mess with the Law of the Mirror

September 13, 2023

Don’t Mess With the Law of the Mirror

So many people go about their lives bumping up against success and almost getting there before giving up and retreating or chasing the next shiny object that appears like a shortcut on their journey. Heck, I’ve been guilty of that myself and I would be willing to wager that most of those reading this have fallen into that trap as well. In many instances this is a result of defying or trying to defy “The Law of the Mirror ”. In his best-selling book “15 Invaluable Laws of Growth”, John Maxwell defines the Law of the Mirror this way: “You Must See Value in Yourself to Add Value to Yourself”. To sum it up, the limiting factor of how much esteem others will grant you is the amount of esteem you hold for the person you see in the mirror. If your self-esteem is at a level 5, others who hold themselves at a level 10 will, well, probably dismiss your ideas, maybe kindly and perhaps not. 


A person with a level 5 esteem will only attract and hold the interest of someone at that level or less. It’s not an idea, it’s a law. Maxwell cites example after example of this, beginning with his own. More important he offers clear strategies to elevate your self-esteem and attract even more people of value into your sphere of influence.


As this is the 3rd of 15 Laws, reckoning with it, as uncomfortable as it was for me, made a profound difference in how I have endeavored to grow myself and lead others to become their best version of themselves. Each of the laws in the book builds upon the previous one with strategies we can employ the minute we put down the book (or often, in my case, my Kindle or Audible App)


“You Must Know Yourself to Grow Yourself”. That’s #2, the Law of Awareness. Can you see already that without the awareness of where we are in our personal journey the relevance and profound importance of Law #3 would not be nearly as clear if at all. That’s the way the entire book is constructed, so it should be immediately obvious how far you might rise in self-esteem by the time you complete the 15th Law of Growth.


Here are a couple of suggestions: Order the book on Amazon in Kindle, hardback or even Audible, depending on how you best love to learn. If you’re not sure, would love to have a guide to see you through this journey for additional insight or just to help you keep track of your progress, set up a 15 or 30 minute “Meet and Chat” with me using the “Calendar an Appointment” button on my smart digital business card at: https://martycard.me.


I look forward to meeting you and helping the image in your mirror to be the emerging one who smiles proudly back at you.

The Pistachio Effect

October 25, 2024
Recently, I was in an event with about 6,000 other people, and the keynote speaker was Jack Canfield. Jack taught us many things from his best-selling book “The Success Principles”. One of the concepts that really stood out was a formula he shared which guided how to take personal responsibility, which was E, an event, plus R, responsibility equals O, which is outcome. So E plus R equals O. And what does that mean? It is not an event that happens to us that really makes a difference, It's how we respond to it. And by taking personal responsibility for the Response, we have control of the Outcome and you can improve it. On the flight home I was considering Jack’s formula. Almost every weekday I begin my day by journaling the people to whom I am grateful and the things I grateful for. I do this in a study group with a friend. One of the things we journal about in that study group is sending positive vibes even to somebody with whom I might have a disagreement. Well, I thought about a person who's very dear in my life, which is my wife. Occasionally, my day will be going along just great and seemingly out of nowhere she will throw a criticism at me for something. An example is on the golf course and we are playing together when she says, “Tuck in your shirt, your tummy is showing” because my shirt came out while I was swinging, or maybe I loaded the dishwasher incorrectly, or something of that nature. Another mentor of mine, whose name is Robert Dilts, in his book, “Coach to Awakener”, said that when somebody's criticizing you, there is almost always a positive piece to that because unless the person is evil, they are coming from a place of being helpful. If you view the Event through that frame and you are grateful for the help then okay, what is that criticism all about? I thought about it on the plane ride home from the event, in terms of taking personal responsibility, and I named it the Pistachio effect. Why the Pistachio Effect? Well, when you look at a pistachio, you wouldn't eat the outside of it. If you bit on it, the taste and texture would be terrible. But, when you open it up, there's the sweet fruit inside. Visualize the shell of the pistachio as the criticism, the sharp object on the outside. And if you just bit on it, it would be pretty bitter and be harsh on your mouth metaphorically and your psyche for real. Yet, if you open it up and taste the sweet fruit (the positive message) inside, well, there you go. So the principle basically is remembering when we are being criticized to pause a second or two, open the nut and recognize the positive message inside.
A man with a beard is standing in front of a building with his arms crossed and smiling.

Genesis

August 23, 2024
I don’t use the word “Every” lightly because it tends to be an exaggeration in many cases. Having said that, I believe it’s accurate to offer that literally every action has a starting point as an idea.

True Energy of Sales

October 24, 2024
Science was not my favorite subject in elementary school because it often involved blood. I hate the sight of blood, particularly mine. Other than that I’m told I would have made a great doctor NoBody lol. But the one science experiment I always loved was when Mr. Dellelis would make a volcano erupt. Fireworks! I don’t light them myself but I love to watch them. Always have! The energy, the creativity, the timing, the beauty! Art only works when science does. Sales is also an art only when we understand the science. Yesterday I had one of those moments when energy was abundant and created by the chemical process of human connection. With my training partner, Valerie Johnson, we taught three awesome students the secrets, the science, and the system that will increase their ability to persuade and increase their sales by up to 300% in less time. The emphasis of yesterday’s training was on business and particularly sales situations. There is true energy when people connect in a common language. As our students began to understand and demonstrate the first level of fluency in the global B.A.N.K. language of BUY-Ology, the energy in the Zoom room was built geometrically. Next week we build on that facility with the power of B.A.N.K. to improve personal relationships. With their higher level of emotional intelligence, I am excited to hear how their results translate in Harvest Time!